My Third Angels
Several years ago I read Alice Hoffman's novel, The Third Angel. It struck an immediate chord with me, and has gone on to represent a consistent thread tying together my life experiences. The book is in essence about the bitter-sweet, transforming nature of love. It asks the question, "If love inevitably leads to pain and sorrow, why go on? How do we go on?"
The title of the book refers to a story shared with Frieda Lewis by her father, a doctor whom she accompanied on house calls. He tells her,
"When we ride we ride with the Angel of Death or the Angel of Life. Sometimes one gets out of the car. Sometimes one follows you inside...And then there [is] the Third Angel. The one who walks among us...You can't even tell if he's an angel or not. You think you're doing him a kindness, you think you're the one taking care of him, while all the while, he's the one who's saving your life."
The Third Angel - an angel in disguise on earth, who helps us renew our belief in life, in love, and in ourselves. Two of the most significant Third Angels that have watched over me, have been of the four-legged variety. They each, in their own way, saved my life and transformed me!
COCO
7/19/2004 - 2/21/2013 R.I.P.
Coco came into my life the first time my world fell apart and I didn't know if I could go on; when the walls of illusion, denial and innocence came crashing down around me and I had to confront the realities of my buried pain.
She had the most gentle, sweet, soft, pure & innocent soul. Her love was unlike any other love I had known; completely trustworthy, exactly what it appeared to be, embracing & holding me completely safe in its perfection. She was my light, my hope, my anchor in a world that is so often harsh, cruel and superficial. She reminded me of all that was good and worth pressing on for. I knew beyond a doubt that she was sent to watch over me, and I would tell her almost every day, "Thank you for being my angel. I want you to know how much I appreciate you". ♥
And then, very suddenly and unexpectedly, she was gone. But although she is no longer physically with me, every minute of her short and precious life has shaped my existence forever.
PAX
Pax is my unexpected Third Angel - the one who by the very act of rescuing him, brought me back to life.
After we lost Coco, at a time that was already deeply stressful, my world fell apart again. I ended up in the hospital and later, an intensive 3-week treatment program for depression and anxiety. I had to make a choice to choose life again. Although I could never restore the loss of my angel, Coco, I could choose to honor her and all the love she brought into my life, by passing it along to another creature who needed it.
A little over 4 lbs of Maltese, Pax was rescued from a puppy mill and then bounced from shelter to shelter. Now at 7 years old, he finally has a forever home, where he is learning to trust and feel secure. He is a testament to the transformative nature of love and the courage it gives us to move on with life!
