Light and Dark
My heart is very heavy tonight. A dear friend, who lost her much-too-young sister to cancer less than a year ago, stands watch again as another close family member battles with cancer's relentless march. As beautiful, exhilirating and breath-taking as life can be, it can also completely devastate your heart. The opposite side of the coin to the radiant light: the obliterating darkness. I have lived in the darkness. I have almost completely lost my way in it many times. I know how difficult it can be to make the choice of remaining open to life, so that the light can find a way back in when it's time comes.
I used to become consumed by seeking to understand, "why is this happening?". Not anymore. Now, I try, as best as I can, to accept. Resistance, I have found, is truly futile. I try to simply let the darkness be as it is, and meet it with as much love, compassion and tenderness as my being is able to summon. I allow my heart to break, for myself and for others, and I remind myself that this is as much a part of my humanity as the times when my heart sings. So tonight, I choose to honor my heavy heart by writing about it. It's something tangible I can do to acknowledge and honor my friend's struggle as she makes her way through the darkness. This is for you, dear friend...
“There were once two sisters who were not afraid of the dark because the dark was full of the other's voice across the room, because even when the night was thick and starless they walked home together from the river seeing who could last the longest without turning on her flashlight, not afraid, because sometimes in the pitch of night they'd lie on their backs in the middle of the path and look up until the stars came back and when they did, they'd reach their arms up to touch them, and did.” ~ Jandy Nelson, The Sky Is Everywhere
